Breastfeeding is often romanticized as natural and effortless. But for many mothers, especially first-timers, the experience can be overwhelming and exhausting both physically and emotionally.
In the early days, the newborn’s feeding patterns can disrupt sleep completely. The baby feeds every two to three hours, even at night, making the mother feel drained. Add to this the baby’s reversed sleep cycle, night crying, and frequent feeding, and it’s no surprise that mothers begin doubting themselves especially when milk hasn’t come in fully and colostrum is all that’s available.
Why Mothers Blame Themselves?
Dr Ravneet Joshi, Lactation Specialist, Manipal Hospital, Old Airport Road, Bengaluru, says, “Many mothers blame themselves or feel inadequate, especially when elders compare their own “easy” breastfeeding experiences. Without proper guidance on latching and positioning, breastfeeding can become painful, adding to the physical toll.”
But there’s hope and it starts with support. Antenatal counseling helps prepare the mother and her family for what’s coming. After birth, timely lactation support makes all the difference. A well-latched baby means less pain and more comfort, which is essential for bonding.
Postpartum Mood Swings, Anxiety, and Guilt
Dr Joshi says, “Beyond the physical, the emotional rollercoaster is very real. Postpartum mood swings, anxiety, shame, and guilt are common, especially when sleep-deprived and under pressure. Body image issues and fear around weaning can make things harder. For some, the shift from being an individual to becoming a mother brings grief, anxiety, and even depressive symptoms.”
What helps? Sleep. Support. Self-care. A hot bath. A meal in peace. Honest conversations. A compassionate spouse. Professional help if needed. The point is you’re not supposed to do this alone.
Let’s stop pretending breastfeeding is easy when you have the right support system, it doesn’t have to break you. joining a mother’s support group, speaking up, and reaching out to a lactation consultant can turn it into the meaningful, empowering experience it’s meant to be.
Massive Emotional and Psychological Weight
Dr Satish Kumar CR, Consultant, Clinical Psychology, says, “Breastfeeding comes with a massive emotional and psychological weight, especially for first-time mothers. The shift from being an individual or partner to suddenly being a mother is intense. It brings sleep deprivation, round-the-clock feeding, and a crying baby that tests patience and energy.”
“The first few weeks are toughest It is the breeding ground for an emotional breakdown when combined with interrupted sleep, physical exhaustion and hormonal changes. There is the issue of mood swings, which are a common thing, and frustration due to sleep deprivation and insistent demands. At this stage, support is necessary from partners as well. When husbands or family members step in, even for small tasks, it makes a real difference in how a mother copes,” reveals Dr Kumar.
Postpartum Blues and Depression
Postpartum changes add another layer. More than half of new mothers go through some form of postpartum blues or depression, which can range from a few weeks to several months. Lack of emotional support worsens this. Lot of moms may feel guilty about not producing enough milk, needing to supplement, or they feel that just what they are doing isn’t enough. Anxiety can spiral into irrational fears, especially in those who are already in the habit of worrying about things.
Body image is something that we typically suffer in silence with. Most women are tentative to speak up, worried that they will appear weak. But when the time has come for breastfeeding to end, some mothers feel genuine grief that they are losing this special connection with their baby.
What helps? Self-care, Open Conversations, Mental Health support. Take short breaks, resting, leaning on others, and discussing fears can also relieve the load. Those who are stuck in guilt or constant loops of anxiety have no other choice but to challenge their thoughts and seek the help of a psychologist. Even though breastfeeding is a natural occurrence, but navigating its emotional terrain takes strength, support, and compassion.
What is Breastfeeding Burnout?
Dr Kinjal Avdhut Kothari, Associate Consultant, OBG, Manipal Hospital, Goa, says, “Breastfeeding is one of the best ways to nourish a baby, but many new mothers feel exhausted during this phase. This exhaustion is often called breastfeeding burnout.”
Dr Kothari reveals, “It happens because babies need frequent feeds, both during the day and at night. As a result, mothers may not get enough rest, may experience breast pain, and may struggle to find time for themselves. Over time, this can lead to frustration, anxiety, or even sadness.”
Breastfeeding burnout is common. It does not mean the mother is weak or that she doesn’t care for her child. It simply means her body and mind are asking for rest and support.
Dr Kothari shares the following coping strategies for mothers:
1. Take short breaks whenever the baby is asleep.
2. Stay hydrated and eat nutritious meals.
3. Use proper latching techniques to reduce pain and discomfort.
4. Ask family members for help with cooking, cleaning, or caring for the baby.
5. Reach out to a doctor, nurse, or lactation counselor if breastfeeding feels overwhelming.
Every mother’s journey is unique. Some may exclusively breastfeed, while others may combine breastfeeding with expressed milk or formula and both are completely okay. At the heart of it, a healthy mother means a healthier baby.