We begin with Michelle Pfeiffer’s matriarch’s voiceover, telling us how under appreciated every mother is during Christmastime. They’re the ones who run themselves ragged by cooking, buying presents, and making sure the house is nice, clean, and decorated by the time the kids and their significant others arrive to celebrate together. This time, it’s a snowless Christmas in the wealthy Texas neighborhood where Claire (Pfeiffer) and Nick (Denis Leary) are getting ready to be visited by their three children, who each are a handful on their own. Their oldest, Channing (Felicity Jones), is the most mature, already having her own family with a feeble but lovable weirdo husband (Jason Schwartzman) and two kids. Taylor (Chloe Grace Moretz) is the sort of black sheep of the family, being effortlessly cool and gay with a love addiction issue; she brings a different girl around every year, and claims she is the love of her life. Meanwhile, Sammy (Dominic Sessa), the only son, is supposed to finally introduce his first serious girlfriend, who dumps him right before the big day.
Since all of them are pretty caught up in their own little worlds, they forget to submit Claire to the annual Mom Competition in her favorite TV show — The Zazzy Tims, hosted by Eva Longoria’s Zazzy — despite several email and text reminders. It’s the one gift that Claire truly wants this Christmas, and she’s pretty heartbroken about not getting it. The last straw, however, comes when the entire family forgets and leaves her home en route to the annual dance show they always see on Christmas. It’s a kind of reverse homage to “Home Alone” that feels forced and implausible, given that Claire is the one who keeps reminding the bunch about the event. Still, she’s so upset that she basically cancels Christmas, packs a bag, and hits the road to at least see Zazzy’s show live, even if she can’t be a part of it. On her way, she stumbles into a few strangers, gets her car towed by accident, and eventually enters the competition by mistake.
All of these chaotic and unlikely plot points provide ample opportunities for some funny bits among this dysfunctional family, but they can never overcome feeling entirely contrived and manufactured. That could be overlooked, but sadly, the jokes and overall humor supplied by Chandler Baker and Michael Showalter’s script are more misses than hits. The banter and the slapstick-y moments simply fall flat due to being half-baked, no matter how hard the more than capable actors attempt to salvage them. There are some slightly comical moments (Leary as a desperate husband/grandfather and Schwartzman as a bumbling idiot in particular), but most of the efforts here are rather cringeworthy than anything worth praising. It’s really a shame since everyone is totally game to make a fool out of themselves for the sake of entertainment, but the inept screenplay lets them down in doing so.